As I’m writing this I can hear Leon in the other room. He’s 5 and I have never been happier with him. He’s playing Pokemon action figures- making them fight and talk to each other. This is very new, and I spent a long time wondering when he would finally start imaginative play. It definitely felt like everyone else’s kids did it years before mine.
I just spent some time with my family. I am so lucky. At the end of this year I will boast over 15 people in my life I would think of as “siblings” (because building families is a picture both my husband’s family and mine has). The diversity I get to be so close to is endless. However, it’s not always easy. I’ve been hearing things from people I’m so close to a lot lately.
“Leon is such an easy kid!”
“Oh he’s always reasonable- he was born that way!”
Now, I can’t say that Leon is difficult. He isn’t. The thing is- those of us with “easy” kids have a lot more to say.
I’m navigating mom life the same way we all are. My struggles look different than yours maybe do, true. I have spoken to a few people about their “easy” kids and we all say the same thing. When it’s normal and good, it’s perfect; when we have a bad day, it’s unlike anything the earth has witnessed before. Can we see how dismissive it is to tell a mom, who has had the deal with the same amount of difficulty as any, that her kid is just “easy”. Right, I must laze about all day because my kid is “easy”.
Let’s not even mention the idea that maybe we should just embrace the idea that our children are gardens full of emotions and passions, and that it is likely no child is “easy” or “hard”.
Speaking of dismissive, though, let’s talk about the fact that I had to parent my child. When we lost the first baby, my husband and I changed everything about how we parented. How we viewed Leon changed. Our jobs as parents changed forever, and we are so grateful for that. I’ve taught my son about emotions, about being frustrated and patient, about sharing, about everything. When you comment on how easy he must be- you’re right. He is easy now, because of all the moments I chose to take a deep breath and find the words to teach him better.
